Loved by Her Read online

  I scooch toward his desk, trying to contain my tears, I say, “I broke up with Maxwell.”

  “He wasn’t good enough for you.”

  “I’m not done,” I warn him, taking a deep breath. “I’m gay and madly in love with Star. Don’t hate me,” I blurt out, heaving as my vision blurs. I feel his arms wrap around me and lean into him.

  “Please don’t cry, sis. I could never hate you. I love you and always will.” His words fill my heart with such love and hope. “I’ve wondered for a while, but could never figure out why you two weren’t more than friends.” I can’t even describe the feeling of being accepted by him. When I finally calm down, he sits across from me and opens our sandwiches. I haven’t been eating much lately and Star has been worried about me, so I try to take a few bites. “Have you told her how you feel?”

  “Yes, but I think I messed everything up between us.”

  “How?”

  “She’s upset because I kind of shunned away from her this morning when Shaynah almost caught us. I’m just not ready to come out to everyone yet. What if I never am?” He stares at me and I recognize the look as his ‘are you kidding me?’ expression.

  “I can’t imagine how hard this must be on you, especially where Star is concerned because she’s always been unapologetically her, but you can’t let the opinions of others dictate your life. You have to see that hiding how you two feel about each other is like admitting you’re ashamed of her. Maybe taking some time is the best thing for you to do. You can test the waters and figure out what you really want.”

  “I want Star. I’ve waited long enough.”

  “Then what are you going to do? Even if she forgives you, this will eventually come up again. Put yourself in her shoes. If she’s been in love with you for as long as I suspect she has, she’s had to watch you with a man that is the scum of the earth for years. How do you think that makes her feel? Is she less worthy than him?”

  “Oh my god, what have I done? She’s going to hate me or even worse, fall out of love with me. You have to help me!”

  “I think you could shoot Star in the foot and she’d blame herself for standing too close. I’ve never seen anyone more devoted to someone than she is to you. But you need to make sure she knows you love her and to be patient, because this is all new to you.” I hug my brother, so thankful for him. I knew he’d be the one to help me sort through everything. When I pull back, I slip a bit and a few files fall. When I pick them up, I see a photograph of a beautiful woman probably a few years younger than me. She’s staring out the window of what appears to be the same office we’re in.

  “Who is this?” He snatches it and puts it in his desk, claiming it’s no one.

  “That doesn’t seem like no one to me. Is there something you want to talk about?” He wipes his hand across his face knowing I will get to the bottom of this.

  “She’s a patient, and you know I can’t say anything more than that. She’s an angel that lost her way and I’m hoping I can help her.” When he speaks of her, he gets the same look in his eyes that I’ve seen in mine when I talk about Star. He’s in love with her.

  “She must be special. If anyone can, it’s you.”

  “Thank you. Now let me get you back or Felicity will have my ass for making one of her artists late.”

  When I walk in, Star runs toward me, cupping my cheeks for a second before letting go, as if she’s scared about my reaction. That more than anything is proof of how much I messed up. She should never feel like that with me.

  “Sorry, I… can we talk in private?” She whispers.

  “No more private talks.”

  Her eyes widen and I don’t miss the tremor that goes through her. “Please? I know I shouldn’t have pushed,” she says, desperation clear in her tone.

  “I refuse to make you feel this way anymore. You’re everything to me and I don’t care who knows it,” I inform her, kissing her in front of everyone. I hear the hooting and hollering from those in the shop, my friends, my true family.

  “What in God’s name is happening here?” And yet my dad’s voice still has the power to freeze me in my tracks. Fucking shit. I wasn’t prepared for this.

  “Get your hands off my daughter!” My mother exclaims. I take one last look at Star, fear once more on her face, and I turn to my parents. They’re mad, that much is obvious, but I suddenly realize I don’t really care.

  “I was the one kissing her.”

  “When Maxwell told us you broke up with him a week ago, we knew you’d finally lost your marbles and I needed to save you from this life. I always knew Star was bad news, but your mother and her soft heart made me keep quiet. Well, no more. Say goodbye and let’s go. I’m calling Maxwell to start wedding plans.”

  “The fuck you are!” Star says stepping in front of me to guard me from their wrath, and while I love her for that, it’s time I fought my own battles.

  “I got this, baby. You’ve done enough,” I inform her.

  “No. I’m not leaving nor marrying anybody other than this woman as soon as I can. And you’re going to stop putting my life, friends, and fiancée down. I’ve already told the people that matter and they’re all in this room, minus my brother who knows and supports me. So either you accept it or I’m done with you.”

  “You don’t mean that. This is not how we raised you. I’m not leaving without you and you can’t force me.”

  “I sure as shit can!” Felicity yells. “Get the fuck out or I’ll call the cops on you.”

  “Fine, but don’t come crying to us when things go bad for you, and they will,” Dad declares in a scream. My mom looks mortified at his words, though.

  “Hun, you don’t mean that. She’s our daughter, she’ll come to her senses,” she pleads.

  “I won’t. I don’t blame you if you go with him, just know it’s mutual. I won’t reach out or let you back into my life until you can accept me for who I am.”

  “Let’s go!” My dad says, pulling my mom with him as she stares at me as if I’ve ruined her life. Too bad. It’s time I loved myself enough to be happy.

  “You okay, baby?” Star asks.

  Despite what just happened, I’m finally at peace, and with the person I was always meant to find forever with. “I got the girl; how could I not be? I want you to do a star across my chest and I want it to say ‘the one who couldn’t get away’ in UV ink.”

  “If I haven’t said it enough, I fucking love you.”

  “Keep saying it, we’ve got years to make up for.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Meridien

  Two months later…

  In less than twenty minutes I’ll be walking down the aisle and marrying the woman I love. Not in a million years did I ever think this would be possible. We spent the night together because I didn’t want to do the traditional thing, still feeling as if I was dreaming, I needed to be with her to prove to myself it was real.

  Clifton joins me and places his hands on my shoulder. “You ready?” He’s the only one from our family here with the exception of our Aunt Betty. She’s always been viewed as the black sheep and our parents hated visiting her. It sickens me to know, especially with our history in medicine, that it took so long for someone to realize she needed help. She’s officially been diagnosed with schizophrenia after years of suffering and is getting the help she needs. Aunt Betty is actually why Clifton became a psychiatrist. Ironically, the one they all shunned is more accepting than those who gave me life. Her and my brother will be walking me down the aisle and I couldn’t be happier.

  “I’m over the moon. I know how lucky I am that she loves me. The moment that ring gets on her finger it will never come off.”

  “You’re insane. And I mean that in the best possible way. You have control issues.”

  “No head shrinking. I’m just mad about my woman and I don’t care who knows it. Now take me to my wife.”

  “She could still back out.”

  “May your tongue turn to chard, you assh
ole. I hope Juliana doesn’t give you the time of day. Yeah, I heard that you took a very beautiful young lady to the diner. I’m on a first name basis with the owners. It’s how I get strawberry pancakes even when they’re not in season.”

  “Fine, let’s go, I’m sure Star is just as nervous as you. I can’t believe you’ll no longer be a Covington after today. Then again, if I had the choice, I’d be a Sinclair, too.” The music starts to play and we walk hand in hand to our aunt and one step closer to my forever.

  Star has her hair up and she’s wearing a gorgeous white dress with lace that provides a beautiful contrast to her tattoos. I take my spot next to her and get lost staring at the woman who is about to become mine in all ways. I get so distracted I don’t realize I’ve missed my cue.

  “Stop staring at her boobs and seal the deal,” I hear Felicity yell, which causes everyone, including myself, to laugh.

  “I can’t help it. Have you seen her?” I joke, then get serious and squeeze Star’s hand. “When we first met, I saw a girl that wanted to run as much as I did, but I put my big girl panties on and convinced myself you’d become my friend, my only one at that. That should’ve been when I realized I’d be able to do anything with you by my side. You give me the courage to be me, to choose my life and fall in love. I ask you to continue to make this life an adventure, to love me as much as I do you, and kiss me senseless every day of my life.”

  “Like I’d say no to that,” Star responds as I place the ring on her finger. “Of course!”

  “Mer, I thought you were crazy when you approached me because I had no idea why you picked me; however, we were made for each other. It just took us a bit to get here is all. But given the chance, I’d do it again. I love you beyond reason, in this lifetime and the next. I will always love you and be what you need, so make my soul complete and become my wife.”

  “Yes!”

  “Thank fuck! I can finally stop chasing you,” she states, kissing me in a way that is nowhere decent, not that I give a fuck. “This ass is finally mine,” she shouts to our guests as her hand squeezes said ass.

  “And yours is mine.”

  Epilogue One - Star

  Four years later

  Walking into our bedroom, my heart breaks when I see her crying. As much as I want to hold her and tell her everything will be okay, I’d be lying. We’ve gotten our hopes up so many times, only to be disappointed each time. After our ceremony, we really talked about what our future would entail and Meridien has always wanted children. I intended to make it happen, but four years and many unsuccessful tries later, including a false positive that almost tore her to pieces, it hasn’t come true. After that last attempt, I was hesitant to continue trying, the pain in her eyes killing me. We made a pact that if this time didn’t work, we’d wait a while. As much as I want kids, too, I can’t bear to see her go through another round of procedures. Which leads us to this moment. Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, she leans into me, and I send a silent prayer to whatever higher power is up there, not for me but for her, that this is it.

  “I’m scared,” she confesses, and I hold her tighter, trying to be her rock once more.

  “No matter what, we’ll get through it together. Nothing will ever change that.”

  “I know. I just didn’t think it would be this difficult.” Laying a kiss on her forehead, we sit there, knowing in a few minutes we’ll hope for the best. In my mind, I see an exact replica of the woman that owns my heart filling our lives with laughter, and mischief. Sometimes, after she’s spent hours envisioning that child, I can almost see her come to life, too. Let this be positive.

  “You ready?”

  “As much as I can be.” We will face the world head on. I follow her into the bathroom, fully aware peeing on the stick is the easy part, the hardest is the wait. As we prepare to do that, the phone rings.

  “Hey, Clifton. What’s up?” I ask, finding it weird he’s calling as he’s supposed to be leaving for vacation with his wife, Juliana, and their child, Zeni.

  “Mom was in an accident and Dad wants us to go to the hospital. Can you come?” Shit, this is the last thing we need right now. Mer hasn’t spoken to her parents in four years and I don’t want to tell her, but she misses her mom.

  “Shouldn’t his butt be on the ramp?” She sees the look on my face and pales. “Is Zeni okay? Juliana? What’s wrong?” When I tell her what’s going on, she wants to know, “Why now? They made it very clear they want nothing to do with me.”

  I grab her hands and kiss them. “He knows you don’t want to be anywhere near them, so if he’s telling us to go, then we should. I’ll be right next to you. I’d never let anyone hurt you.”

  “If this is some ploy, I’m out.” We leave, the pregnancy test momentarily forgotten until we get in the car. “The quicker we leave, the sooner we get home. Whatever the result, it’ll wait. We don’t want to think about that while dealing with your parents.”

  “Fine, but I want to know what it says. So let’s make it quick, I’m not keeping my hopes up on what he wants to do with me.” The hospital is only a few minutes away, so it doesn’t take long to get there. Her dad is in the waiting room, hands on his head, blood on his clothes. The man is in obvious distress and Mer instantly rushes to his side, back to being that young girl who loved her parents without fault, even if they weren’t the nicest. “Where’s Mom?”

  “Meridien, I didn’t think you’d come. I’d hoped, but with the way we left things…It was so stupid. Please forgive me. I’ve been wanting to tell you how sorry I am. And now this…” He pulls her into a hug, a deep sob leaving him. The man that never showed a sliver of emotion seems to have become undone.

  “It’ll all be okay, dad. I still love you and mom, but I had to be happy, too, and that meant being with Star.” I make my way over to them wanting to be close in case he rejects her again.

  “I know that now. I knew it the first time you defied us, and Star stood next to you. Your mom, too, she told me that night the future was inevitable. I didn’t want to believe it because I couldn’t see past my own wants. Star has always been there and I’m glad you found each other. I know we haven’t been the most loving people, but your mom is my everything. As Juliana is to Clifton and Star to you. I’m so sorry.”

  “I forgive you. Star convinced me to come and I’m very glad she did.” Dr. Covington looks right at me and opens his arm at that news. The last time we were at his house I was thrown out while Meridien bawled, but there comes a time you have to be the bigger person and accept that people can change. He hugs me tight and I can feel his tears on my shirt.

  “Thank you for giving her the love she deserved. I’m sorry for the way I treated you,” he whispers. It’s hard to accept when you’re wrong, even more so to apologize for it.

  “Sorry to interrupt,” an older gentleman in a white coat says as he joins us. “Your wife will be okay. She does have multiple broken bones and fractures, but she is in no immediate danger. She is awake and calling for you, Dr. Covington.”

  “Thank you so much. I need to see her.” There in the bed is Meridien’s mother, bloody and bruised. As expected, my wife starts to cry all over again.

  “My baby. Look at you!” Her mom exclaims, grimacing when Mer squeezes too tight.

  “I’m sorry, I’ve just missed you so much. What happened?”

  “I wasn’t but ten minutes from the house when this car comes out of nowhere. I faintly remember being pulled out and getting rushed here but that’s it.” I immediately want to know if she thinks it was a drunk driver and Mer’s dad takes over from there.

  “It was that bastard, Maxwell. Apparently, it wasn’t the first time either. There will be no slap on the wrist or enough money to fix this. It makes me sick to think I wanted my daughter to marry him.” Bile and anger shoots through me at the mention of that piece of shit.

  “Are you serious?” Meridien asks, dumbfounded.

  “When I got the call and ran to the scene, he was still
there. I attacked him, so I’ll have to go to court, but it was worth it.”

  “Go dad,” Clifton, who has been quiet this whole time, states. We were lucky they let us back as visiting hours were almost over, but Zeni needed to get to bed, so Juliana took their daughter home and he stayed.

  “I would’ve killed him had the cops not been on me within seconds,” Dr. Covington informs us, rather proud of himself. If it had been me, I’d feel the same I think with a smirk. That idiot deserves all the punishment he has coming.

  “Well, at least something good came out of this, we’re a family again, which means I don’t have to shrink my own family anymore,” Clifton remarks, causing us to laugh. We stay a bit longer, then head home. Mer falls asleep on the way and I let her rest, knowing what’s waiting for us when we get there. I wake her gently and we walk in silence to our room.

  “I’ve gone through so many emotions in the past few hours, I’m tempted to not look.”

  I lift her chin and kiss her lips softly, whispering, “We have each other and a love that spanned years adversity. It will still be us tomorrow, and the next day, until my last breath, because I will always be your knight in shining armor.” Hand in hand, we check the test, reading the result at the same time. Positive. I will always make your dreams come true.

  Epilogue Two - Meridien

  Eight years after that

  I’m finishing the last of the dishes, determined to leave everything spotless before we head out. Felicity closed the shop for the week and we’re all going on a Disney cruise. Star and I had a little girl, Scarlett Corazon, and while I always wanted a big family, I knew I couldn’t go through that process again. When Scarlett was twelve months, we adopted our second daughter, five-year-old Summer Lynn. Appearance wise, they are complete opposites as Scarlett inherited my red hair and green eyes, while Summer has black hair and brown eyes. She could’ve easily come from Star, and if you ask either of my girls, they’ll be the first to tell you they’re sisters without blinking an eye.