Undercover Santa Read online

  “You sure? Because I got a call from Lydia, over at the salon. Said she saw your mother get dropped off in her limo outside and didn’t leave until almost an hour later. Why didn’t you call me? You know how much she loves me since the party three years ago. I had never seen anyone so appalled when I delivered the naked ice statue and started drinking wine off the balls.”

  “Yeah, she wasn’t quite sure how to deal with you. I’m sure she was full of murderous rage, but with all that Botox who could tell.”

  “I know, we had to run out before we were escorted out. Are you sure you’re ok?”

  I shrug, not really wanting to get into it with him. “I’m fine, I just rather be left alone; retire to my kitchen and leave the front to you.”

  Understanding my need to be alone, he sends me off and I get lost in my baking.

  Chapter Two

  Joe

  The last few days have been shit and I’m nowhere closer to finding Brandie. The news travelled down the grapevine and I was able to pinpoint her location to our uncle in Florida. He’s the one who refused to take over the North Pole, and I already have a strained relationship with him. He and my dad weren’t very close when I was growing up and now I know it had to do with the death of my grandfather. I didn’t realize he never wanted to be Santa Claus, much like my brother Ron never did. Now I wanted less to do with him.

  But, unfortunately, I needed to find my sister and deal with this once and for all. We were both needed back home. As soon as my plane lands in Florida, I call my uncle. He gives me an address and I head in the direction of the car rental agency. After getting the keys to my rental, I step outside of the airport. The weather hits me and I instantly frown. Why is it this damn hot? Who in the hell can be in a good mood with the mugginess in the air?

  Once in my car, I blast the air conditioner, asking myself why Uncle AJ would even like living here. It takes me only a few minutes, but I make to the first hotel closest to the address without getting lost. I decide it's best to rent a room for just one night. Other than family vacations, I’ve really never been outside of the North Pole, so this is my first time out in the world on my own. I realize I’ve lived a very sheltered life, and it only adds to my feelings of inadequacy. My sister had been right about so many things, my lack of experience being the biggest.

  Taking that to bed with me, I shut my eyes and let sleep take me. Tomorrow I’ll start to make amends and I’ll start by apologizing to my twin. Morning comes sooner than I expected and I head towards the address I was given.

  “Uncle AJ, are you sure this is the right address?” I ask again knocking at the door.

  “Yes, I asked the manager for the favor since we’re good friends, because no other place was taking new residents in the area short-term. I have to go. Wait for her, I’m sure she’ll be there soon.”

  Disconnecting the phone call, I knock again and still no answer. This time I try harder, wondering if her stubborn ass is just trying to avoid me since she heard my voice.

  “I know you’re in there, open the damn door Brandie, it’s not funny anymore.”

  “Will you keep the damn racket down. I can hear your pounding from inside my damn apartment. If the fucking woman left you and you’re knocking like that I can see why.” I hear from behind me and I turn mesmerized by the voice. When I look at who was just giving me hell, I’m left speechless. Standing there at her door, is temptation at its finest. I’m ready to surrender to this mystery woman, and beg her to let me be in her presence.

  “Well don’t just stand there and stare at me. Are you one of those meatheads that can’t form a single coherent sentence? With those muscles, I don’t doubt it, although you don’t quite look like the gym types around here.”

  Needing for the tall, blonde with the full red lips to not see me as an idiot, I clear my throat and approach her. The first thing I notice is there’s no fear in her emerald green eyes, not even a hint. Then I notice the blush that creeps up her neck to her cheeks, when she sees me ogling her openly. I like it that she’s shy about me admiring her, but willful enough to take me on. I can see her in the future standing toe to toe against me in every argument. Good because, if I get to be Santa Claus, I’m going to need a Mrs. Claus to put me in line.

  “No not a meathead, and I wasn’t looking for a woman who dumped me, although I did find the one I’m going to be taking out tonight.” I wink at her further causing her cheeks to redden. “I’m looking for…”

  “I don’t care who you’re looking for. I did hear the manager say something about a new tenant, but I haven’t seen anyone. Anyway, stop pounding on the door... I’m trying to get rid of this headache, and you’re making it worse.”

  Knowing she’s in pain causes turmoil inside me, even if it’s just a headache. I want to make it go away and give her everything she might need, and I know I want to do it forever. I’m pretty sure most would think I’m crazy, her included, but I know she’s the one. My heart is beating so fast it’s threatening to come out of my chest, and I want her, like I’ve never wanted another woman. Even my dick agrees eagerly, and thoughts of her in my bed are filling in my head. I’d never had the urge to do that, and I honestly thought the man below was broken. Well, it seems he was just hibernating.

  “Ok well, I got to go.” She says starting to close the door, but I stop it from closing with my foot.

  “Wait, I didn’t catch your name.” I say frantically needing to find a way to keep talking with her.

  “That’s because I didn’t give it to you.” She says opening the door and stepping out, mace at the ready. “Are you going to be a problem?”

  “No, I just wanted to know your name?” I put my hands up in surrender, and she backs down and I can see the smile she is trying to hide. Good, she finds me amusing. I can work with that.

  “I’m Crystal, but I really need to get going now.”

  “Ok Crystal, how about dinner tonight at eight?”

  When she bites her lip, the action goes straight to Mr. alive and well, ready to finally land in the mothership below. I can’t believe I’ve wandered through life this long without these urges until my eyes landed on this beauty.

  “How about no. What kind of girl do you think I am to accept a date from the first man that comes to my door and two minutes after meeting him?”

  “Your neighbor’s door.”

  When I correct her, confusion registers, and then she puffs air out of her lips causing it to make her bangs flicker. “Same difference. Not happening.”

  “Ok what do I have to do to get you to go out with me?”

  “Fine, if you go to this store and get them to give you the doll that’s on display, I’ll think about it.” She says to me and I raise a brow. “A doll?”

  “Yes, and you have until 2 o'clock to do it.”

  “That’s in three hours.”

  Her devious smile tells me all I need to know. She is expecting me to fail, only I won’t. I’ll be back here with it in no time.

  “Are you not up for the challenge?”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll be here.” I assure her, but there’s something in that smile of hers that says she’s hiding something.

  Chapter Three

  Crystal

  Looking up at the clock, I could feel myself smiling bigger than I had in a while. So I was being a conniving cheat, but I was pretty proud of myself. There was no way my mystery guy would be able to deliver, and time was running out. Not that I believed he cared enough to even try. His eagerness to please me pissed me off. In fact, his whole demeanor pissed me off. He didn’t get to disrupt my morning coffee, with his obnoxious knocking, only to overwhelm me with his looks. Damn, but the man was sexy. Which was part of the problem. He checked all my boxes that I didn’t even know I had. Tall enough to make my own height seem tiny compared to him. He had muscles but he didn’t seem like the type who buffed up at the gym, although I could tell he worked out. Maybe he was a boxer, I could see where his nose had been broken a time o
r two. A friend of Kent’s was a boxer and his looked similar. But unlike Kent’s friend who was full of himself, and acted like the women of the world owed him something, this guy looked like a loner.

  Was he lonely? Did he have someone keeping him company? Why did the thought of him having no one to talk to or spend time with make me feel so upset? I must have a few loose screws because I was letting my sentimental side get the best of me. I buried that bitch years ago; I like being an ass. I had called him a meathead because that’s who I needed him to be. A man like that I could deal with.

  I was used to meatheads and idiots. Guys were always trying to ask me out, and I had no interest in them. They were only looking for two things: a way into my family or into my pants. Neither was up for grabs, but with him it was different. I didn’t sense either of those things when he looked at me.

  No, the way his hazel eyes met mine it was as if he was looking right into my soul. That’s what put my guard up first, I wasn’t sure what to do with him. When he asked me out, my heart was screaming yes, but I had to let my brain function first. I wasn’t about to just go out on a date, my first date at that with just some Joe Shmoe, who showed up saying he was looking for my neighbor. For all I knew that was an ex and I didn’t need drama.

  It didn’t matter though because I sent him on an impossible mission. He had to retrieve the doll that my father refused to give up, it was priceless because it was an antique, and it belonged to the company for generations. It was also the only thing my Grandfather had left me. He had been just as bad as my own father, but in his old age he had turned a new leaf. When he asked what I wanted most, I had said that doll.

  I was eleven, and he had promised he’d let me keep it for my children to come. I would never see that promise give fruition, when he passed away two weeks later, my father had greedily added it to the assets of the company. Just the memory makes my blood boil at how inconsiderate my parents have always been by turning everything into a monetary situation. Acting out in anger, I push the stuff on the counter to the floor, and immediately curse my actions. I bend to pick it all up, thankful that no one was in the shop to witness this, when I hear the front door open. I curse under my breath not ready to deal with a customer.

  “Welcome, I’ll be right with you.”

  “Take your time. I got all the time in the world for you.” The voice on the other side of the counter calls out to me, and I know exactly who it is. This has got to be a joke. Coming up from under the counter, there he stands giving me that smile that isn’t quite straight which only adds to his charm.

  “I am here as you requested. I really enjoyed the part where you didn’t tell me you wouldn't be at home. Thankfully, I figured out where you spend your days. I guess luck was on my side because by chance I found your cookie shop.”

  “Whoopie doo, so you found the best cookie shop in town. Not a big deal. I ask you to deliver something, so showing up here empty handed isn’t getting you brownie points.” I say doubling down on my stance. Not letting his hazel eyes sway me in the slightest. Okay maybe just a little.

  “I wouldn’t want you to give me any brownie points. I want to show you I’m worthy, because this is happening between us.”

  “We’ll aren’t you just a cocky motherfucker. How many girls did that attitude bag you?”

  “None, I haven’t ever cared to date anyone. I just know this is happening because I’d be stupid not to see you’re the one.”

  My mouth hangs open at his words. Is this man for real? “Oh I see so you’re the bag 'em and book it type, and all of a sudden you’ve changed your ways for me. I’m in no way gullible or naive like the other poor women you’ve probably scammed.”

  When my words hit him, I see the confusion reflected there, and I almost feel bad for treating him that way. “I meant, that I haven’t dated anyone and definitely haven't slept with anyone.” He says almost looking honest, but I'm sure a guy like him has had women lining up.

  “Yeah and next you’re going to tell me you’re Santa Claus, when you’re no more than the average Joe Schmoe.” I say grabbing a tin can and filling it with cookies. I’m wasting the precious quiet that never happens in this shop dealing with him. I need him out of here.

  “You're partly right. I’m sort of Santa Claus, and my name is Joe, Joe Claus. Although, you’re wrong about me. I'm really not trying to feed you some line. I get that you’re guarded, I like that, it means you don’t let men near you much. I think I’d probably go a bit insane if I had seen you with a guy. But anyway, I came to give this to you and settle on a time for our date.”

  He pulls the doll I never thought I’d ever see again from behind his back. Not believing it can be the same one, I snatch it away from him. I look at the back and sure enough, there are the initials I wrote on it. I can’t believe he pried it away from my greedy father. Confused about how to feel about these turn of events, I push him out of the shop and lock the door behind me.

  Sitting in my room staring at the doll, I still feel like this is some kind of hoax I’m being dragged into. He’s been sitting outside my door for at least two hours, refusing to leave until I accept the date. I know Kent is going to have a field day if he thinks I have a stalker, but is he a stalker? The man is obviously delusional, when he thinks he’s Santa Claus, or heir to the Santa Claus throne, whatever it is he thinks he is. For a moment, I wanted to believe he was, because who delivers a doll that has been held hostage for years?

  But Crystal Sugarplum is a cynical and realistic person, and will not be phased by some trick. I call my brother, Theodore, who I can always trust to be honest with me. I need to know if my parents are putting this guy up to fuck with my head. I don’t put it past them, since my mother can be pretty evil when she doesn’t get her way.

  After thirty minutes of Theo assuring me that our parents aren’t up to anything, I end our call. I don’t know what to do with the information. The likelihood that they would have Theo lie is very slim, he’s always been straight forward and to the point. When things are happening around the house, he tells me.

  With nothing left to do but face the man outside my door before someone calls the manager or the cops, I open it. He falls back from leaning on the door and his head lands right between my legs, and what do I have on? A fucking skirt.

  “Holy Fuck, where are your panties?”

  “Get up! Get up right now!” I scream at him, while trying to hide my goods from his line of vision. “You act like you’ve never seen a naked woman before.”

  “Well not in the flesh.”

  “Are we still using that line? Fine, welcome to underwear lesson number one, not all women wear underwear all the time. Don't tell me you’ve never gone commando.”

  “I live in the North Pole… commando isn’t popular.” He says with a shrug, as if that is supposed to make perfect sense somehow.

  Smacking myself in the face, I can’t believe he’s still going with this story. I’m attracted to a man with a Santa complex, who swears he’s a virgin, and has a propensity to granting wishes, I’ve hit the motherload. Why am I even entertaining this man? The answer clearly comes to mind when he stands up, and I’m forced to admit how attractive he is. It doesn’t help that every time he smiles it turns me into a puddle. Needing to shake myself from this feeling I take my bitch on wheels stance, hands on hips, and an intense glare. “What are you doing here? I kicked you out of my shop, didn’t you get the hint?”

  With his arm on the door frame he leans into me, his mouth but mere inches from mine. “You promised me a date. I want my date.”

  “I don’t recall that.”

  “Hmmm… maybe you’ll recall after I do this.” His strong arm wraps around my waist in a quick move pulling me against him. in a world where I’ve always been the tall one, I don’t miss the way I feel so tiny, compared to him. The smell of earth, pine and something undeniably masculine hits me and I know I’ll always associate it with him. But it’s his breath against my lips as his tongue tease
s, forcing me to involuntarily open, that tells me he’s going to ruin me. Then he kisses me, and it’s not rushed and rough as I expect it to be. Instead it’s slow and soft, almost as if he’s cherishing every part of this exchange.

  My own heart starts beating fast from the electricity coursing through my body from this connection between us. I need to stop this, yet I don’t, my own willpower falling prey to this need. The longer he kisses me the softer his kisses become. The way our tongues dance in unison, it’s almost as if our souls are uniting. As soon as that thought hits me, I push him away. The man is going to make me lose my mind and he’ll have me believing in fairytales.

  I glance up at him and if I didn’t know better, I’d think he's as affected by that kiss as I am. “I need you to go now.” I try and slam the door, but he stops it.

  “No, not until you agree to a date with me. You can’t tell me you didn’t feel that?”

  “I don’t know what I felt, I’m confused. I need time to think clearly.”

  “I’ll be out here until you tell me a time.”

  “Fine you want a date; you’re going to do something for me.”

  “Again?”

  “What, you think it’d be easy? You stole a kiss that was a foul, you now have to be put to the test. Get ready Santa Claus… I have a huge list of things I want. Let’s see how good you are at this undercover Santa crap you got going on.”

  Chapter Four

  Joe

  The last three days have been hell and I’m living my own crazy rendition of Santa Baby. Crystal thinks she can shake me by asking for outrageous things, but it only makes me that much more motivated to win her over. No amount of pushing me away will get me to leave her alone, especially when I remember her melting in my arms during our kiss. Just the memory of her body fitting perfectly against mine is one I can’t forget. Or how her soft lips opened as I slipped my tongue in and discovered what paradise is made of. Asking me to give that up, is like asking me to give up a part of me, because that’s what she is. The better part of me that has been missing for years.